The book

A new year with lots of question marks. If we go in circles or we just have one new start after the other? I can't answer this. Life goes on and flowers blossoming, new life has to be celebrated, Juno appears in my thoughts.

A goddess of love and light, motherhood and protection. Mother of Rome, warrior and wife of Jupiter. I dedicate this year to her, whatever comes. One year ago I decided to publish a book and collect most of my poetry of 2019 from the notes on my phone. It's quite a lot of work and I stuck, never went into preparation of a book.

Now I am coming closer to my dream. It's the first idea, shaping the idea, selecting poems for a dark site of me. The light shines bright but it is also important to show the dark sides of life. Proofs of survival, proofs of people who cause darkness, proofs of a fight with this world. It's an insight, not a book you choose as light bedtime story.

Maybe it's the dark side of Juno, the side you have never seen because I know not one goddess who is responsible for heartbreak. Or broken promises. Or lies. Everybody of us knows these things, maybe everybody of us made this experience.

When you fall for narcissists, fake people, psychopaths and people with a low self esteem. Become a victim of love bombing or ghosting. All these modern terms just tell us, that we are on the wrong path with someone. All what we want is at least what we waste for others, what we give but never get. 

You feel depressed, heartbroken, restless, hopeless and disappointed. When you once looked behind the walls, you see nothing than emptiness. Constructed worlds, where you only play a figure to please other's egos, let them feel adored and good while you stuck in the mud. Narcissistic relationships have many different sides. 

Not everybody wants to read this. Not everybody wants to hear about these things. They are there. They happen. So will my first book be dedicated to people who have been through the same experiences, feeling down or helpless, searching for solace in words.

We know we will find the light when we turn away from these relationships and start our own path of light. We know we can get healed when we make a step out of the circle, learn to love ourselves and find what makes us happy. 

My first book will be a dark start of my published poetry. Nevertheless, I believe in collection of all my different poetry, one day, published in different books and read by people who love my words.

Thank you for being here.